1 00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:24,452 Peg, you were great last night. 2 00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:27,421 You did what every man dreams his wife will do. 3 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:31,826 You were asleep before I got home and you were out of bed before I woke up. 4 00:01:31,992 --> 00:01:33,694 How can I ever thank you? 5 00:01:33,861 --> 00:01:36,831 You could stop eating beans before bed. 6 00:01:38,833 --> 00:01:40,568 Hey, what's all this? 7 00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:42,269 I get breakfast too? 8 00:01:43,304 --> 00:01:44,872 Peg! 9 00:01:45,039 --> 00:01:47,041 Bring it on. 10 00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:53,013 Spices too? Do the kids know about this? 11 00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:55,416 - No. - Good. Bring it on. 12 00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:57,318 - Al, honey... - Yes, sweetheart? 13 00:01:57,485 --> 00:02:00,588 Before I serve you, I have some great news. 14 00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:02,923 Oprah Winfrey finally exploded? 15 00:02:07,862 --> 00:02:10,397 No, Al, but that's so funny. 16 00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:12,666 You're just the greatest. 17 00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:15,402 Who's coming to stay with us, Peg? 18 00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:19,640 - Just my mother. - No. 19 00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:22,776 - And my uncles Irwin and Otto. - No, no. 20 00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:25,880 - And the Wanker triplets. - No, no, no. 21 00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:28,682 But, Al, they're my aunts. They're no trouble. 22 00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:32,520 Peg, God only knows how old they are, and they sleep in the same bed. 23 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:37,758 It's amazing, the triplets sleep in one bed and your mother sleeps in three. 24 00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:42,630 Well, honey, they'll only stay for an undetermined period of time. 25 00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:46,567 Peg, this is the first three-day weekend I've had in a year. 26 00:02:46,734 --> 00:02:49,904 I won't have a good time. You and the kids will be there. 27 00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:52,339 But not the Wanker wagon from Milwaukee. 28 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,975 Peg, please, not that. 29 00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:58,579 Hondo's on this weekend. It's some of the Duke's best work. 30 00:02:58,746 --> 00:03:01,382 It's never on TV. I got a blank tape all ready. 31 00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:04,718 I wanna watch Hondo , Peg. I want a clean tape of Hondo . 32 00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:07,721 No one is going to interrupt you watching Hondo . 33 00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:11,458 Remember when they were here last year? Shane was on. 34 00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:13,661 Just before it came on, Otto bet Irwin... 35 00:03:13,827 --> 00:03:15,996 ...He couldn't put his head through the TV. 36 00:03:16,163 --> 00:03:18,766 I didn't see Shane that year, Peg. 37 00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:23,904 Well, I know, Al, but you saw the end from the emergency room. 38 00:03:24,071 --> 00:03:28,542 "Come back, Shane. Shane. Goodbye, Shane." That's all I saw, Peg. 39 00:03:29,843 --> 00:03:34,114 I didn't even see the credits because your mother lumbered in front of me. 40 00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:38,018 By the time her entire body chugged by, it was morning. 41 00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:40,955 You should be nice to them, Al. 42 00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:43,724 After all, they're the only people in the world... 43 00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:47,161 ...Who think that what you do is skilled labour. 44 00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:49,496 What do you say, Al? 45 00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,732 Can my family come for a visit? 46 00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:54,001 Because they're on their way. 47 00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:59,173 Since you went to all this trouble, why not? 48 00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:00,941 All right, where's breakfast? 49 00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:04,211 Gee, I don't know. I didn't cook anything. 50 00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:10,417 Well, that's the sound of the axle hitting the road. 51 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,419 It means one of two things. 52 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:16,790 Either everybody in China just jumped off a chair, or your family's here. 53 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:22,096 They brought the horse trailer. Your mom in there, Peg? 54 00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:27,434 It's the only way that she can travel, Al. 55 00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:33,741 - Otto. - Peggy. 56 00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:38,112 Your home still looks like a filth hole. 57 00:04:40,114 --> 00:04:42,616 - Irwin - Peg. 58 00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:45,152 You've got a beautiful home. 59 00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:50,190 And Milly, Elena, Eadie. 60 00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:53,494 Hi, Peggy. We're triplets, you know. 61 00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:56,263 You look fabulous. 62 00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:59,633 - Where's Mom? - We'll leave her in the sun... 63 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,236 ...Until she heats up and gets slippery. 64 00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:06,907 That way, we won't have to damage the truck getting her out. 65 00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:11,879 Somebody left the WD-40 at home. 66 00:05:12,046 --> 00:05:15,149 Somebody didn't put it on the list. 67 00:05:15,783 --> 00:05:19,586 How am I doing? I'm pretty good. Thank you for asking. 68 00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:23,891 Now, listen, before the festival of the inbreds starts... 69 00:05:24,258 --> 00:05:27,061 ...I want everybody to know Hondo will be coming on. 70 00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:30,464 During Hondo , there will be no belly butting... 71 00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:32,099 ...No spitting for distance... 72 00:05:32,266 --> 00:05:35,703 ...And no one running around with underwear on their heads. 73 00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:40,174 We could've gone to a hotel. 74 00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:42,509 - Hey, look who's here. - Hey. 75 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,912 Uncle Irwin. 76 00:05:45,079 --> 00:05:46,914 Otto. 77 00:05:48,082 --> 00:05:50,951 Uncle Otto. 78 00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:52,986 You look great. 79 00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:56,857 And you, my darling, I could sell you. 80 00:05:57,958 --> 00:06:00,594 Let me tell you what the going rate is. 81 00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,631 As you can see, Bud hasn't changed a bit. 82 00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:07,901 Same wit, same zit, same underwear. 83 00:06:08,836 --> 00:06:12,573 Well, now that we're all together, how about a hootenanny? 84 00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:14,274 No. God, no, no! 85 00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:18,011 Wait. Wait. Wait. No hootenanny. I forgot to put that on the list. 86 00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:20,114 Too late, Al. 87 00:06:29,356 --> 00:06:31,325 Just the boys. 88 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:34,628 Just the girls. 89 00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:41,368 Just Al. 90 00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:56,116 Just like the old days. 91 00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:58,285 Before music. 92 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:02,189 Are you gonna put your head through the TV again? 93 00:07:02,356 --> 00:07:04,191 If you're good. 94 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,060 Can I relax now? 95 00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,884 Stop. Stop. 96 00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,786 Please stop. 97 00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:39,927 I'm not a Wanker, and you're killing me. 98 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:44,331 Peggy, we're famished. 99 00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:55,609 Al, how about taking us out to eat? 100 00:07:55,776 --> 00:07:59,546 What the hell. Kids, you didn't really want to go to college, did you? 101 00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:01,949 We'd rather eat. 102 00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,951 If we're gonna go, we should go. 103 00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:07,688 Because once we unload your mom, it's hard to squeeze her back in. 104 00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:10,057 She kicks like a mule. 105 00:08:10,224 --> 00:08:12,893 Will you put your head in the salad bar again? 106 00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:15,128 If you're good. 107 00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:19,967 You know... 108 00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:23,637 ...You're not good enough for our family. 109 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:27,207 Yeah, right. I've never been up on a morals charge. 110 00:08:28,242 --> 00:08:30,577 Nine hundred ninety-nine... 111 00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:34,147 ...1000. He did it. 112 00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:37,618 Nice example for the children, Irwin. 113 00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:42,089 Why don't you show them how to debone a cow while you're at it? 114 00:08:43,090 --> 00:08:45,626 You've always been jealous of me. 115 00:08:45,792 --> 00:08:51,098 Yes, I've always secretly wanted to be a...beast of burden. 116 00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:54,768 Now, now. Let's not spoil our good time. 117 00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:56,837 Now, make up, you two. 118 00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:59,907 - Blowfish. - Squid. 119 00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:02,342 Well, that's better. 120 00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:05,612 Mom, are we going to the pony rides... 121 00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:09,750 ...To see the look on the horse's face when Uncle Irwin chooses his mount? 122 00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:12,185 No, not today, honey. 123 00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:17,324 Ever since Daddy paid for lunch with his watch, he's been a crab apple. 124 00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:19,693 I think he's mad at us. 125 00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:21,161 Don't take it personally. 126 00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:24,765 Daddy always takes a noose with him into the bathroom. 127 00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:27,901 Daddy's in the bathroom? 128 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,938 Mom's up there taking a bath. 129 00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:34,174 Well, maybe he won't notice. 130 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:41,415 Peg, I'm blind. 131 00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:45,452 Very funny, Al. 132 00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:49,456 No, really, Peg. I saw your mother naked. 133 00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:55,228 Everything went black. I think my eyes were trying to protect my heart. 134 00:09:56,930 --> 00:10:00,033 Now I'm not gonna see Hondo , Peg. 135 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,468 Stop being a baby. 136 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,337 It's only hysterical blindness. 137 00:10:03,503 --> 00:10:07,140 It happened to her doctor. It wears off eventually. 138 00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:10,510 Wait. It's starting to come back. I see shapes. 139 00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:13,814 I see...straw. 140 00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,317 Kelly. 141 00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:20,754 Al, we have to talk. 142 00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:24,958 Well, I'm broke and I'm blind, Peg. What else is there to talk about? 143 00:10:25,359 --> 00:10:27,427 You haven't been very nice to my family. 144 00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:30,230 Well, neither has nature. Go bother it. 145 00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:38,939 Al, you know I don't ask much of you because I know how limited you are... 146 00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:40,841 ...But please do me a favour... 147 00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:43,510 ...And just say something to them. 148 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,512 Go home. 149 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,549 - Does that take care of it, Peg? - That's a nice start. 150 00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:52,252 Just show them that you care. 151 00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:55,222 Go home, and drive safely. 152 00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:58,892 Ask them how they're doing. 153 00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:00,961 For me, sweetums. 154 00:11:01,128 --> 00:11:03,397 - That's all I have to do, Peg? - That's it. 155 00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:05,265 Otto, Irwin, how you doing? 156 00:11:05,432 --> 00:11:07,534 We're desolate. 157 00:11:08,402 --> 00:11:10,203 We'll need the triplets. 158 00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:15,242 I'll go. They sleep in Kelly's room. Her bed often has a lot of people on it. 159 00:11:16,977 --> 00:11:19,312 Then Irwin and Otto get to sleep on your bed... 160 00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:22,082 ...With the rotting rubber sheets. 161 00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:25,952 Al, I wanna let you in on a little family secret. 162 00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:28,255 You're the fourth triplet? 163 00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:32,325 Well, I know everybody thinks that the family income... 164 00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:34,828 ...Is derived primarily from the still. 165 00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:39,599 - And the home yoghurt business. - Quiet, Mr. Pork-at-the-Bottom. 166 00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:43,036 - It'll catch on. - Oh, please. 167 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:46,206 Anyhow, the triplets add greatly to our income. 168 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,842 Otto, excuse me. 169 00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:51,945 Kelly, go upstairs. 170 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,916 They sing. They sing at carnivals, beer fests. 171 00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:59,853 Last month, they worked regular and cleared a neat $88.50. 172 00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:01,788 Don't tell the IRS. 173 00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:05,125 Now something's happened that's threatened the act. 174 00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:08,428 They faced the audience? 175 00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:12,532 Elena... 176 00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:14,434 ...Tell him what you wanna do. 177 00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:16,436 I wanna marry. 178 00:12:17,471 --> 00:12:19,639 Somebody outside the family, right? 179 00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,843 Well, in Wanker county... 180 00:12:23,009 --> 00:12:26,113 ...Nobody's really outside the family. 181 00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:32,986 Well, how about that boy, John, who works at the feed store? 182 00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:34,654 Yeah. 183 00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:37,457 I guess he's family. 184 00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:45,098 Will someone listen to me, please? 185 00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:49,269 Peg, if Elena gets married, the triplets will be torn asunder. 186 00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:53,640 And worse, if she goes on a honeymoon, we'll lose 17 gigs. 187 00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,475 That's $34 and change. 188 00:12:55,642 --> 00:12:58,512 Interest will wane. Oh, my God, the public will forget. 189 00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:02,249 It happens. Look at Glen Campbell. 190 00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:05,385 Al, don't let that happen. 191 00:13:05,552 --> 00:13:09,322 Gee, it's a little late, Peg. Glen's career is what it is. 192 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:14,327 Al, you're a professional man, a shoe salesman. 193 00:13:15,695 --> 00:13:17,597 If anybody can solve this, you can. 194 00:13:17,898 --> 00:13:20,500 - Solve what? - Should she marry or not? 195 00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:24,971 Peg, I'm not touching this. I mean that in every sense of the word. 196 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,440 If I get involved in your family's problems... 197 00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:31,211 ...I always end up missing a good movie and I get called an idiot. 198 00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:34,314 Well, not this time, Al. They need you. 199 00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:37,450 Look at their faces. 200 00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:41,488 All right, I'll help, but I'm not looking at them. 201 00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:45,959 - Is someone willing to marry you? - Yes. 202 00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:49,062 Then you have my blessing and he has my pity. 203 00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:50,697 Do it. 204 00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:55,635 God, you're an idiot. 205 00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:02,442 You had to say something. You couldn't just say... 206 00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:07,180 ... "I don't know," like when I ask you when you'll be done in the bathroom. 207 00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:09,416 Why did we come to you? 208 00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:13,019 They could be up there crying their six eyes out. 209 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:16,723 Great. On my bed. Thank you so much, Daddy. 210 00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:19,492 That's it. I'm out of here. 211 00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:22,362 Al, you can't leave during a family crisis. 212 00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:26,132 It's not a family. It's a lab experiment. 213 00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:30,637 Where are you going? 214 00:14:32,339 --> 00:14:36,376 I love these perfect times together. The wine is chilled, the candles are lit. 215 00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:41,214 And we are a kiss away from magnificent earth-shattering sex. 216 00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:47,387 Ignore it. Whoever it is will go away. 217 00:14:49,623 --> 00:14:53,460 Hey, you guys, open up. I know you're in there. 218 00:14:56,062 --> 00:15:00,133 This is a test of wills. I am not answering the door to that man. 219 00:15:13,613 --> 00:15:16,016 Man, what a day. 220 00:15:17,183 --> 00:15:19,452 Get me a beer, will you, Marce? 221 00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:25,425 Al, we're trying to have a little romantic thing here. 222 00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:30,463 Well, go ahead, don't worry about me. Marcy, you got any tuna fish in there? 223 00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,832 We were going upstairs, and you interrupted. 224 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,101 Then you owe me one. 225 00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:40,640 You got any pretzels? 226 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:46,780 You might have been wondering why my house is tilting. 227 00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:50,383 Peg's relatives are in town, six of them. 228 00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:53,053 Well, 12, counting her mother. 229 00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:57,157 We're out of pretzels. How about some lye? 230 00:15:57,557 --> 00:15:59,025 No, thanks. 231 00:15:59,192 --> 00:16:00,827 I was ready for a great weekend. 232 00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:03,596 Did you ever just want to be alone? 233 00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:09,069 You know what I mean. I just want to sit down and watch Hondo in peace. 234 00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:12,605 You ever try to watch something, but your in-laws drive you crazy? 235 00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:15,542 No, Al. That's where I'm lucky. 236 00:16:15,709 --> 00:16:18,678 Marcy's family is just a blessing. 237 00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:23,783 Her mother does leave wadded-up bits of Kleenex wherever she goes... 238 00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:29,089 ...Because of that one runny eye she has, but...that's not her fault. 239 00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:33,727 What is her fault is she's too cheap to go to a doctor and get it fixed. 240 00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:37,330 No, she comes over here and complains incessantly about it. 241 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:41,768 While we try to eat. As if looking at it doesn't tell the whole story. 242 00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:45,672 - That's enough, dear. - You know, she'll only eat eggs. 243 00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:48,575 We could have a turkey dinner, and she looks at it... 244 00:16:48,742 --> 00:16:51,578 ...With her runny eye and says, "What? No eggs?" 245 00:16:51,745 --> 00:16:54,180 Everybody hates her. 246 00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:57,350 Honey. 247 00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:00,553 God, she makes my skin crawl. 248 00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:06,359 What's the difference between Steve's mom and a bowling ball? 249 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:10,497 - What? - A bowling ball doesn't have a beard. 250 00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:14,601 It's one hair. 251 00:17:14,768 --> 00:17:16,836 One hair does not make a beard. 252 00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:20,707 It does if it's six inches long and V-shaped. 253 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:25,812 Well, at least her eye doesn't run like a toilet. 254 00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:30,350 Relax, guys. I'll get that. 255 00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:35,588 Well, let's just talk about your Uncle Mildred. 256 00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:39,659 Can't a man be a florist and still have some respect? 257 00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:43,296 Al, you gotta do something. 258 00:17:43,463 --> 00:17:44,798 The triplets ran away. 259 00:17:44,964 --> 00:17:47,133 Why would all three of them run away? 260 00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:50,737 Only Elena ran away, but the other two went to keep her company. 261 00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,272 You gotta find her. 262 00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:55,508 Peg, I'm trying to have a quiet evening alone with friends. 263 00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:57,811 Well, at least I have a father. 264 00:17:57,977 --> 00:18:02,182 Yeah. One who sold secrets to the enemy during the war. 265 00:18:02,348 --> 00:18:04,317 That was never proven. 266 00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:07,287 - Al, please. - But Hondo's coming on. 267 00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:09,155 Well, we'll tape it. Just hurry. 268 00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:11,691 It's dark, and the triplets are out there alone. 269 00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:14,394 All right. I gotta go, guys. 270 00:18:14,561 --> 00:18:16,463 Go on, get back to your romance. 271 00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:24,704 You know why you have such chicken legs, Marcy? 272 00:18:24,871 --> 00:18:27,640 It's because your mother eats all those eggs. 273 00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:31,945 I'm desolate. 274 00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:34,180 Don't worry. Al will find them. 275 00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:37,417 I told him to drive around and think like triplets. 276 00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:40,854 Now, look. Let's just do something to take our minds off of this. 277 00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:45,391 Irwin, why don't you tell us about your record for rooster-throwing? 278 00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:48,261 Indoors or outdoors? 279 00:18:49,028 --> 00:18:52,465 You know, Kelly has some indoor-outdoor records of her own. 280 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:55,602 Why, she's so good, she's about to turn pro. 281 00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:59,506 Bud's so cute, and to think, he'll never be bald. 282 00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:02,742 He'll always have the hair on the palm of his hand. 283 00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:06,880 Cats and dogs. 284 00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:08,781 Cats and dogs. 285 00:19:08,948 --> 00:19:12,685 - What are you talking about? - Nothing. I was just hungry. 286 00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:19,325 Peggy, I'm sorry this didn't turn out to be such a good weekend for you. 287 00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:20,860 It's not so bad. 288 00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:23,563 I mean, after all, Al's out of the house... 289 00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:26,432 ...Mom finally stopped sweating from travelling... 290 00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:28,535 ...And Dad is... 291 00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:30,470 Where is Dad? 292 00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:32,705 He wasn't on the list. 293 00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:36,776 Neither was your enormous rump, but you brought that. 294 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,649 Come on. Get in. Get in there. 295 00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:45,752 Al, you found them. Where were they? 296 00:19:45,919 --> 00:19:47,320 Down by the docks. 297 00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:51,457 It was just luck. We were all trying to sign up for the merchant marine. 298 00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:55,461 Did I miss Hondo? Because that's the only reason I came home. 299 00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:57,397 It taped. 300 00:19:57,664 --> 00:19:58,998 I get to watch Hondo . 301 00:19:59,299 --> 00:20:00,700 What about my problem? 302 00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:04,337 Your lives are meaningless compared to Hondo . 303 00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:08,841 Now, I want silence. Not a whinny, not a moo, not a peep. 304 00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:11,878 It's Hondo time. 305 00:20:12,045 --> 00:20:14,514 Welcome to John Wayne weekend. 306 00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:18,818 We proudly present his film Hon-- 307 00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:22,622 I don't know about this. Al's gonna be mad. 308 00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:25,658 Who cares about him? This tape is for Peggy. 309 00:20:25,825 --> 00:20:28,728 Besides, we'll be long gone before he sees it. 310 00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:31,764 Remember, hide the tape so that buffoon doesn't find it. 311 00:20:31,931 --> 00:20:36,569 That's insulting. What do you think I'm gonna do, leave it in the machine? 312 00:20:51,818 --> 00:20:55,054 You didn't hide it, did you? 313 00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:59,692 Al, why don't you do sweet things like that? 314 00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:01,661 Okay, I'll be the one to say it. 315 00:21:01,828 --> 00:21:04,163 The Duke is dead. Let's move on to the living. 316 00:21:04,464 --> 00:21:08,067 Have you girls come to your senses yet about this marriage? 317 00:21:09,836 --> 00:21:12,505 I'm devastated. 318 00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:14,607 This is your fault. 319 00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:17,543 You're the one that invited her fiancé to the house. 320 00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:19,078 We were gonna roll him. 321 00:21:19,412 --> 00:21:23,383 Look what happened. And you never even got his wallet. 322 00:21:24,651 --> 00:21:26,586 Or did you? 323 00:21:36,029 --> 00:21:37,897 That's it. Sit down. 324 00:21:38,064 --> 00:21:41,401 Everybody sit down, because I'm taking charge now. 325 00:21:41,567 --> 00:21:44,037 Peg, kids, go upstairs. 326 00:21:44,203 --> 00:21:46,806 Because I'm solving everybody's problems now. 327 00:21:46,973 --> 00:21:50,209 Everybody, move close together... 328 00:21:50,510 --> 00:21:55,415 ...And say... "Swiss cheese." 329 00:22:03,022 --> 00:22:04,991 Al? 330 00:22:05,725 --> 00:22:08,695 Honey, you're sweating. And you haven't answered me yet. 331 00:22:08,861 --> 00:22:12,231 Is it okay if my family comes for a visit? 332 00:22:12,665 --> 00:22:14,534 It doesn't matter what you say. 333 00:22:14,701 --> 00:22:16,936 Besides, how bad can it be? 334 00:22:19,706 --> 00:22:22,442 We're here.